As many of you know, I compete in triathlons. Last Saturday I completed the California Half Iron Man in Oceanside. I broke six hours, which is a pretty good mark for anyone; but more importantly, I set a new personal best. It was, by all accounts, a good race and one that I was very happy with afterward.
A couple of days later I received an email from the company that takes pictures during the race, extending me the opportunity to buy pictures of myself swimming, biking and running. This is quite common now at nearly all races. I sat down and looked at the pictures after this great race and all I could think to myself was: “Look at how fat you are. Why can’t you get down to the body size you should be? What are you doing out there? You do not belong in a race with all those healthy people.” Those were my thoughts. The truth of the matter is this: if they were to somehow send me the pictures before the race… I would not do the race! My hang-ups, my fears really, would actually keep me out of this race I so enjoyed.
Now I know how crazy that sounds and yet how often in life do we “get” the pictures before we ever do the event? How often do we see ourselves as too fat or too inexperienced or too old or too young or too ignorant or too sensitive? Maybe we picture ourselves not having enough, or not deserving enough, or just plain not enough. How many times have our fears prevented us from picking up the phone or knocking on a door or “asking for the sale”, or a raise, or a date?
After thinking about this a little I realized that the people who know me, the people who like me… certainly the people who love me, do not see me as fat. They see the light inside of me. Then I realized that we can take the warmth and confidence that comes from being seen only for our light and we can carry it with us to meet strangers. Soon I began to think about all the times I did not go somewhere and all the times I did not meet someone new and all the opportunities I missed throughout my life because of my fears.
I was so worried about the lampshade… that I turned off the light.
My thought for today… my wish really, for all of you, is that you go out today and you shine your light.
To Your Success,
Sean Purcell
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4 comments:
This is my second visit to your blog. I am sure you've heard it before, but you should really consider writing a motivational book. You have the gift!
Your recent series of essays (is that what they’re called? I barely know what a blog is) makes for excellent reading. Insight into your industry, customer advocacy, leveraging technology to improve the customer experience, all these things are interesting to me. However, I most enjoy reading your approach to the more personal struggles. They are, I believe, universal.
I am sorely delinquent having a conversation with my new boss, one that is paralyzing me and causing me to obsess over something that might end badly. Then again, it might end well. Nevertheless, it is my own self-doubt and insecurity “Do I deserve this?” that keeps me from stepping up to the plate and asking for something I have earned.
Reading your words does help move me in the right direction. I thought you might like to hear that.
I do not know when you posted this comment (for all my efforts, I am still quite a "newbie" at this technology stuff), but you have really touched me. Thank you for your words of encouragement and validation - they mean an awful lot.
I do not know how your situation turned out; only that it has served you. I hope I get to hear from you again.
Thank you.
Sean, I had the conversation I fretted about on Tuesday (May 15)...okay, if I am being honest, I had HALF of the conversation. Part of it regarded asking for money I believe I have earned, which is hard for me. I’m not sure why, I definitely believe I am worth it. I guess I just naively believed a highly regarded, loyal employee with a strong work ethic would be rewarded.
I have worked for my company for 24 years, since I was 17 years old. Granted, most of it was part-time, but when I decided to commit to this company and give my all, initially I was rewarded with what some might call a meteoric rise through promotions. Then tough financial times hit the company, restructuring (many times) and “right sizing”- the Dilbert equivalent of layoffs. As people left, I absorbed more responsibilities-yet no significant raise and no promotion.
Finally, last spring after another reorganization and my sixth different Vice President in four years, I asked the CEO for a promotion-and received one. Good for me! What moxie! Not so fast Laura…when I brought up salary a few weeks later with Human Resources I was told that I was given a “title adjustment” and my promotion was just a job title correction. Job Title Correction!
Crash…
This news coincided with a personal tailspin. A few weeks later my brother-in-law died unexpectedly in car crash, my best friend of 20 years moved across the country, I herniated a disk in my neck and then found out my 38 year old cousin’s cancer that had been in remission for 4 years returned.
I was overwhelmed personally-my business situation no longer important.
Now, a year later, I addressed money with my boss. I am embarrassed to say I got teary-eyed. I did not know it would be so emotional for me. He thought I was well paid-until I let him know what a manger of 4 years (I am a Director) made. He was extremely upset. I felt what I would call guarded optimism.
When you wrote: “Take a good hard look at your belief systems. Are any of them holding you back?” I have to believe mine are-but I am not sure why. What I do know is I am making positive steps, albeit small steps, in my life right now.
I started a weight loss program last week (typing this makes it real-I have told no one) to try to lose the 30 pounds I gained last year-hopefully more. Your “Clydesdale Tales” inspired this change. And, I had a conversation with my type A+++ boss (Did I mention he can be is volatile?) that I dreaded because I read A Life that Pops.
Your words have become inspirational-I know that is a very strong word, but I have acted on my life because of them, so what else can they be?
I hope you keep writing. I will definitely keep reading.
I woke up today thinking my post missed the point. Although therapeutic for me, I realized with a palpable uncomfortableness that spilling my guts in cyberspace does not have much to do with finding a new direction in life. So, I thought about everything I had read and tried to find the elusive “lesson”. Here is what rang true for me:
It is my belief that if one does not show weakness, it is a sign of strength. Makes sense, right?
Then why did I read your blogs, blogs where you freely admit weaknesses, faults, struggles, etc... only to find strength? Is it possible that the path to strength is through acknowledgement of weakness?
What about martyrdom, stoicism and that misconceived patience (a favorite of mine) that I perceive as virtues? Today I see those qualities as contributing to my inertia - convenient excuses.
Holy cow! Is my strength a façade?
Probably. Now, I have to be willing to act of this new discovery in a tangible way without losing my identity, at least the core of me that I love.
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